Ever heard of that one moment wherein you fail, you stumble and you become a source of disappointment? That when you come across such an unfavorable scene in your existence, you’d become someone who is unworthy of respect or encouragement? Well, indeed, that has got to be one of the most disheartening cases in life.
Growing up as an academically inclined person, I knew that it has been painted in my face and body the impressions of people and expectations of many others, even though they aren’t being set out to me in a daily basis. There’s just that aura from people that surround me that makes me think of it, albeit I don’t really have the intention of noticing how they act. It just awfully happens, and so, I come to that stage wherein I even ponder about these things.
Usually, my late night thoughts would cover up about my dreams, my expectations and all the things that could be. It’s in nature that we, people, have many dreams that we will fulfill someday. Such thoughts lead me to my nocturnal self every single time. However, I find it as a reasonable answer to my insomniac side.
I lay awake in bed while hugging my pillows, and then there comes a bit of my thinking, seemingly in tornadoes and tsunamis that trigger me to fight my drowsiness no matter how restless I was. As they come and flood me with emotions, I cannot help but be brought back to those good, old days of being carefree and having no one to think about. It’s always refreshing to reminisce those days wherein all I cared about were my toys, the food I ate, having to take a nap every afternoon and all the things that seem to be mundane.
Opening my eyes to today’s current situation, I find myself in that state of “in betweens” – in between love and hate, in between contentment and disappointment, in between acceptance and anger, and above all, in between doubts and confidence.
Kiarra 